the only thing good about the slowing approaching winter is the fallen leaves on the ground which i step on and they make a "crunch" noise or if there was a big pile i'd kick them around...but other than that....it's just freaken cold going to tafe trying to catch the 8.10am train in the cold...*sniff sniff*. good thing andrew got me a new scarf....a non-cghs one...like red+black striped (duh~ lol)

andrew's place has a fireplace its so awesome...warm warm and its a bit smokey though...

tafe concert is on wednesday!!! *a bit nervous* im a bit more scared about the audition for Cert IV *sigh* only 16 places for the 40 Cert III people...not to mention people might come from random places to audition for it too....*fingers crossed*

it was me and andrew's 8 months yesterday...so we got ourselves a daytripper and went to newtown >>bus>> central >> ferry>> milsons pt (luna park)>>ferry>>circular quay>>bus>>town hall>>bus>>central>>train >>Home...we are crazy...lol

well i got bored and went ebay-surfing...lol...here's what i'd buy if i had the money...

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finally have the time to update something in here for no one to read in particular, never been a popular one, me. i'm starting to wonder why people's blog about uni exams can be more exciting than mine...hahaha.

well lately i've just been preparing myself for the concert. (yes once again seems like no one is gonna fucken come except Andrew and Warwick...*sigh* stupid asian curfews) and now we have rehersals until about 6 - 6.30pm on Mondays. yes so i basically have 9am ~ 6.30pm day. BEAT THAT. but then im not sitting on my ass and listening to bald and boring lectureres =P. (btw i walk pass the UTS faculty of science on most days and i can just see the back row on the lecture room and people look so BORED and they were kinda lounging around hahaha, thank goodness i dont go to uni)

on tuesday we got most of our tests back (we were like FUCK WE DOOOOON'T WANT THEM....lol) and well i did good in the music industry and music listening (omg i passed that!). and lately in the lesson i got full marks for lstening skills excercise on intervals - you know, minor 2nd, major 3rd, minor 3rd, perfect 4th/5th...etc...15 outta 15, WOOOT~! and i found out that me and Ash got top marks for music business presentation! (Ash is a guy and my buddy at tafe so to speak, we're crazy...lol)

in the arvo lesson i was put on the spot and set a sound system ALL MY MYSELF...argh. so annoying. but then i did get decent mark in setting up sound system + multitrack recoding.

wednesday i got bad cramps and went home early. mum made me drink chinese medicine and said it'll help in 3 months time...its the 4th month and im STILL getting bad cramps...oooooh the humanity~ save me from drinking more yucky chinese meds.

my tafe course is gonna end in about 3 to 4 weeks and i have no idea what i wanna do now. I will apply for Cert IV and see what happens...but money wise its a bit hard $400...where do i find that...i wanna learn sign language too, i've always been interested at that. and i still cant find a stable job as much (uni job is very casual, they do it project by project and they dont have many of those) but i wont quit that job. *sighs*

the thing i dislike the most is when people ask me what i will be doing after the course and usually with a tone suggesting that i wont be able to do a thing after the course...espcially if i dont wanna go to uni...maybe i'll be a music theraptist and maybe i'll hit it big and be a real rock star i dunno. maybe work in a recoding studio? i have no idea what this course brings for me. i have a crazy idea that i'll do music business course after that, and after a year of that i'll do music techinical. man i am crazy. its just that im sick of people around seem to not suppose the idea i do this course cos it seems to bring me nowhere.

my teacher says, you cant choose music, music chooses you. you know because you feel terrible when you're doing something else, music makes you feel good and as anyone else, you would only like doing something you find pleasure and joy in. and thats what i feel like because the only thing i want to do is to sing. i dont know how well i sing and whether im good enough, but i know getting through the tafe audition meant something and i wouldnt trade that with anyone. i just dont wanna to be doing anything else but something to do with music.

i missed so many great opportunities thanks to my mum. i missed out on a potential position in Sanity, and i missed out to be able to work at the BIG Day Out...its the BDO for fuck's sake. i would have got paid to listen to the bands i like and free merch i would hope, all because i thought i would be in HK in january. so fine but then i cant work at the Easter Show cos i ACTUALLY would be in HK. now NOTHING is fucken on during the next holiday....*sigh* thanks for nothing. world.

i dont care about whether i make it as a musician, i'd be happy selling CDs everyday...thats all i hope for...why the fuck is it so hard....

i kinda feel like i'm so half-arsed as a person. i'm a half-arsed vocalise, half-arsed guitarist, half-arsed piano player (yes Andrew and I bought a electric piano for me, and yes i can play stuff.), half-arsed poet/lyricist, half-arsed composer, half-arsed "artiist"... like I'm not too good enough for much.

People ask me what I can and would do after this music course. I kinda have no idea, cos i dont intend this to by my pathway to uni.

Somehow i always need approval from other people...maybe im love deprived. *sigh* I draw something and I'd want someone to say "its nice"...maybe thats what you get for the lack of support at home?

I constantly need to be with someone, namrly thats usually Andrew, so i'd feel less of a uselss person cos he adores me every mintue that he's with me and i know that. my mind would not drift off to think of unpleasant things...BLAH

oh yeah, and I'm back in Aus...yes yes all in one piece...havent flown in a plane in 7 years...can help to have appreshenive feeling at the beginnig (and end)  of a JOURNEY!!!! haha...damn HSC shit.

so yes, my tafe concert is as above, you better fucken come. but um. why us asian has such damn curfews...i dont think i can even make *my* curfew to go home on time if my curfew is 10.30pm and the concert ends around 10 in the city....dot dot dot. oh well. i have an excuse.

*sighs* i dont even know what i wanna talk about. um, lets talk about Jing? she's a bit girlie than i know her...but i guess puberty finally hit her?! just kidding jing. haha.

man my blog is so boring and damn whiny.