HAPPY BRITHDAY PRISCILLA...finally 18!!! woot!

i think as most people are...busy reading the final Harry Potter book...on the weekend...i'm more than half way through...only! *sigh*

well in case you havent heard, i got diagnose with depression during the week...shouldnt be a suprise to the people who know me...well i got referred to this psychologist...and as if i had the money to pay for one....so that idea is totally on hold even i would love to have 6 sessions over 3 months as suggested by the doc...but i'd like to spend more $$$ on music than a shrink. but it is true that i havent felt 100%....nor 75%....lately...lol. i dont even know why im laughing about it. how ironic.

i got my pre-ordered HP at macquarie Borders. the line was SOOOOO long and nobody told anyone that there was a collection station at the back. Mum only found it when i told her to get me a "we

well my weekend was pretty boring overall. I bought the Evanescence sheet music book -- "the open door" for my music class. so my money was....well...greatly decreased. lol.

i was supposed to complain about something about people being so competitive but kinda cant be bothered. i know my blog is pretty boring so *shrugs*.

well i have started tafe again. its the second day...in fact i *am* at tafe.

its great! i met new people...feeling a bit out of place i guess. everyone else is so talented in what they do...pretty much everyone writes their own music...sigh. im such a bloody ametur...i dont even think i spelt that right *ggggreat*

sigh just feel so bad...just kinda feel like i'm put in this class cos im asian (well there are 3 other asian) but i feel like i've been put here so it seems more "equal opportunity" you know...

they're watching family guy on tv...lame. i never can get in it...it just stupid, not funny.

going to the doctor again tomolo to check up on my "depression assessment"....and tomolo is Mary's 18th! Happy Birthday Mary...and im turning 19 this year...-.-"

still playing kingdom hearts, its great!...im at...shit i forgot...i think i just finished up at the pirates of the carribean place...and stopped by twilight town...i love it. but bloody hell KH3 is on PS3...i dont have $1000 to spare!

they're watching family guy on tv...lame. i never can get in it...it just stupid, not funny.

going to the doctor again tomolo to check up on my "depression assessment"....and tomolo is Mary's 18th! Happy Birthday Mary...and im turning 19 this year...-.-"

oh and this guy Matt at tafe said he read my blog...how embarrassing! lol. oh well.

they're watching family guy on tv...lame. i never can get in it...it just stupid, not funny.

going to the doctor again tomolo to check up on my "depression assessment"....and tomolo is Mary's 18th! Happy Birthday Mary...and im turning 19 this year...-.-"

btw this guy from tafe said he read my blog haha. how embarrassing was that...lol.

PS. my display is really weird isnt it? sigh. i thought i looked okay in it...*shrugs* well its hard finding a person to take ptoper photos for you and harder to take photo of myself with a no-brand digi cam okay?

well i have started tafe again. its the second day...in fact i *am* at tafe.

its great! i met new people...feeling a bit out of place i guess. everyone else is so talented in what they do...pretty much everyone writes their own music...sigh. im such a bloody ametur...i dont even think i spelt that right *ggggreat*

sigh just feel so bad...just kinda feel like i'm put in this class cos im asian (well there are 3 other asian) but i feel like i've been put here so it seems more "equal opportunity" you know...

they're watching family guy on tv...lame. i never can get in it...it just stupid, not funny.

going to the doctor again tomolo to check up on my "depression assessment"....and tomolo is Mary's 18th! Happy Birthday Mary...and im turning 19 this year...-.-"

still playing kingdom hearts, its great!...im at...shit i forgot...i think i just finished up at the pirates of the carribean place...and stopped by twilight town...i love it. but bloody hell KH3 is on PS3...i dont have $1000 to spare!

they're watching family guy on tv...lame. i never can get in it...it just stupid, not funny.

going to the doctor again tomolo to check up on my "depression assessment"....and tomolo is Mary's 18th! Happy Birthday Mary...and im turning 19 this year...-.-"

oh and this guy Matt at tafe said he read my blog...how embarrassing! lol. oh well.

they're watching family guy on tv...lame. i never can get in it...it just stupid, not funny.

going to the doctor again tomolo to check up on my "depression assessment"....and tomolo is Mary's 18th! Happy Birthday Mary...and im turning 19 this year...-.-"

btw this guy from tafe said he read my blog haha. how embarrassing was that...lol.

PS. my display is really weird isnt it? sigh. i thought i looked okay in it...*shrugs* well its hard finding a person to take ptoper photos for you and harder to take photo of myself with a no-brand digi cam okay?

yay only one more week till tafe starts again. cant wait to see my friends and meet some new ones! hopefully someone would think im good enough for a band or something *fingers crossed*

apparently i haven't been talking much...i've been really quite lately, and i get so annoyed if someone talks waaaaay too much, or being loud. and i've been randomly crying here and there...and plus my short term memory gone so bad lately (its odd cos it used to be really good....and now i hardly remember what i did yesterday and in the morning), so i decided to see a doctor...probably on monday. might as well ask about that three doses of vaccine...i dont think im emotionally ready for 3...one is okay...3...i need sometime for myself to "prepare"...

now now, did i mention i got singstar...i love it! well, i guess thats why im a vocalist, but thats beside the point. haha. its good that they have Evanescence, MCR, and Fall Out Boy....its been a long time since i heard 'dance dance'...i only remember the chrous....not a great fan, me, i know...i should know that...

apparently i can be a bitch and cute at the same time. i didnt think anyone could be....but i am that person...odd eh? guess im special at least.

anyways, sometimes i dont wanna bother treating my so-called depression, cos it allows me to write *what i think are* good poems, but thats a not-so-good reason to not get it checked out yea?

lalalaa...theres so much on my mind at the moment that just aren't coming out...

Holiday is damn boring sometimes...i spent my time playing on my PS2...and yay I got singstar! but its more fun singing with other people...so i just play Super Monkey Ball...I'll just roll my ball around...haha.

well I'm awaiting TAFE to start! So excitied~! Can't wait to do more performing.

saw angela and choi yesterday....finally given choi her xmas pressie from '06...haha. *blush* anyways...we just bummed around really. randomly went into Allan's music and played 'lithium' at the exact same time on the two baby grand piano...well, thats about the only time i can play a piano worth about 10 grand!

In the arvo i met up with ash...and the other angela...haha ash didnt know broadway shopping centre existed hahahahaha. - better not released his story all over the world - but i can tell you its damn funny.

so i ended up seeing the transformers in the cinema...*snore*...i liked the bit where they hid under the dude's house...and bumblebee was cute.*sigh* oh well saw bridie afterwards.

so what's happened lately...*thinks*...ah i finally remember what i was gonna write/type:

Okay, so why do people love labelling others? Do some people like being labelled? I know its just human nature that people like to belong to something. Some people like being called emo and goth because they think its cool. but some people don't actually go out of their way to be them.

I just like wearing black. i love the colour black. i dont wanna wear bright colours, then people name me emo. then i wear my skirt with boots then some other person name me a goth. then i wear fishnet stockings and then i got called a punk.  name me what you want but look. i just wanna wear black, that is all - i just wanna get out without being called things.

and why do people sometimes be so judgemental? you know even know them and they think you must act a certain way.  even if i hug too many people, someone would think i like feeling up people or something. like omg, i like hugs okay? whats wrong with hugs? hugs are nice. i <3 hugs. and just because an old person hug a younger one doesnt mean they're a paedophile. i hug my neighbours and guys that are older then me. why do some people have a frame of mind that is the case?

one problem that i have particularly is why do some people have this want to be something but they're just not. kinda like being way too pretentious, or just basically being something that they're not. - why cant you just be yourself???? those people really go out of their way to look like someone or be certain type of person. maybe those people are not confident and insecure? i have this girl that just follows most things i do and let me tell you i'm actually quite annoyed, but she has no idea that she's doing that. I'm glad that i am "looked up to" like that and i guess i shouls get used to it just in case i became a rockstar haha. *sighs* i just wish she finds herself and not having to having to find identity through others.

okay. its all outta my system now. im better now.

besides what i have a problem with...i have a problem....i dont think my emotional states is so good. i just get really upset in the evening + nights. *sigh* i dont wanna be put in a psych ward...nor a depression group....i've been sent to one...but i didnt bother. oh well. should check it out. btw the cervial cancer vaccine comes in THREE doses...girls gotta do it before sometime before 2009 i think i read...three doses *faint* i dont like needles...good luck to all CC'06 and other female aged 18 to 26...