Flyleaf is awesome...anyways...

I feel awful lately...(yeah and thats really surprising isnt it.) just got to think all the things im not good at. thanks to people that do not concern about others feelings or people that just think they're on top of the world, so i guess i think about it too, maybe way too much but i guess once in a while you kinda just think about your place in the world. how good or bad you are. comparing to other people, are you doing okay? for me especially musically...how "talented" am i comes into a big part of my life and being a good musican is obviously tough.

SINGING: look, as my friend you are bound to say i sing good...or if you dont like it then you'll just nod your head anyways...i dont feel like i sing any good. but i do know i love singing. i cant think of anything that makes me happier and better...(shopping comes to a close second...O.o)...no one likes my voice enough i guess...well it doesnt help that my recorded voice sounds like a 10 year old...

MUSIC PREFERENCE: whats wrong with liking mainsteam stuff? there are amazing music in there. every song i ever like is because of its lyrics. so if thats mainstream, so be it.

RACE: sometimes outer apperance doesnt help, and certainly being asian, especially chinese. doesnt help anything. people only think your incapable, that your impolite, no common manners. im the only fucken person in the whole train carriage to get up for a pregnant lady, no one would move there fucken bags and crap off their seats. and anyways. i think its after missy higgins (cant believe that her name is in my blog...ew) that the Unearthed winner is a asian girl called Sophie Koh if i remembered correctly, why happened to her? Grinspoon and Higgins have their career fly off, and she had better songs than higgins. why, because shes asian? asian's not allow to have a decent career in music?! well thanks Australia.
        Everyone thinks they're better cos they speak english, they're more superior. "oh looking that person cant speak english properly" FUCK ur in the asia-pacific, why dont you learn an asian language, your closer to an asian country than you'll ever be anywhere else. and if anything, everyone should learn a ABORIGINAL language, its their land to begin with, i'd be happy to learn one. why restrict like as if they were criminals?!

ME: [overall] well im not even gonna go into that too much. i stand up for myself and thats wrong. im therefore stubborn. well fuck u then. im sorry if i act like a 12 year old. i had a love deprived childhood okay. so if that means i'll be 30 and running through the crowd like a kid to a fairy floss vending, then that's great, that's how i would be.

SADNESS: look sorry i really cnt help that. sometimes i just feel like bawling my eyes out and thats what i did at tafe last week cos i suddenly felt so much like a failure. and if i had spare money for psyche fees i would. and the shrink isnt even there for me to book an appointment. so there.

but in the end i could just be a failure...but then...
"and i know, i may end up failing too, but i know, you were just like me with someone disappointed in you"

HOW DARE I...to have an opinion.

HOW DARE I...want to be different.

HOW DARE I...want to be ordinary in some aspect.

HOW DARE I...to think that im any better than any person.

HOW DARE I...have depression and look at things in a pessimistic way.

HOW DARE I...think i am any good of a musician.

HOW DARE I...to think im any sort of a good person.

and for you to treat me like some sort of criminal or loser or anything that is a lower class/rank than you. so FUCK all the people who think they know about everything and anything in the world. FUCK YOU ALL.

sigh what can i say...its august already!

i kinda got thinking the other day. what would be so wrong if everyone tells what they truly feel? including who they like? i reckon it takes lots of guts to admit you like someone, even they already have a partner. i honestly reckon that if someone now told me that they like/love me. i would have a lot of respect for that someone cos he took the courage to say so. and really even if that happened to someone else, its really up to them whether they stick with the old partner or run away with this new guy. if someone is really committed then they would stick by their bf/gf anyways. no matter how many people say they are interesting in them, right?

the boots i bought in HK is kinda falling apart...damn made in china crap. so i kinda went for a walk to check out boots in here. see i bought the boots from Hk for $350 HK dollars...thats like what. 50 bucks ish...so there i am looking at boots...from Raben footwear...i saw these decent boots, only got a few buckles on it, wasnt too fancy. tried it on, asked for the price...$495!!! in aussie dollars too...sigh. *dies*

on the weekend i went yum cha with andrew's friends. there were the 5 of us and only i can speak cantonese so i can translate what dim sims are in front of us. hahaa. andrew didnt try a chicken foot still...anyways, my language channels didnt switch all that quickly on that day...hehe...then we went to chris's house (through a lot of speeding surely by the 2 drivers... and loud music...my kind of life...*dreaming*) and played Wii until late arvo...i wont mario party 8!!!...then trivia night. what a day.

i dont really know what else to type here. running outta thoughts.....i never have a computer with the net at the right time. i always think of something good to type in my blog and then only to be on a computer like a week later and forget about it all...yes im lazy, i cant be bothered writing it all down.

im really liking the new people in my tafe class. they're all so interesting and so diffferent. =D and no more annoying and totally slacking off people. and only people who can actually play and sing properly...unlike last semester...-.-" hope they reckon i can sing too! =)

the teacher got sick and we didnt have a afternoon class...so we hung out at the clarie hotel...played pool...i didnt bother drinking...come to think of it, nowadays everytime i go to the club for trivia night i always think i would drink and then only ended up being satisfied with a "sunrise"= orange juice + gradnadine (is that how you spell it...) it was kinda cool. just hanging out.

anyways i got this pretty good riff on the piano today...i think finally i can bloody compose a decent song! woot.

HAPPY BRITHDAY PRISCILLA...finally 18!!! woot!

i think as most people are...busy reading the final Harry Potter book...on the weekend...i'm more than half way through...only! *sigh*

well in case you havent heard, i got diagnose with depression during the week...shouldnt be a suprise to the people who know me...well i got referred to this psychologist...and as if i had the money to pay for one....so that idea is totally on hold even i would love to have 6 sessions over 3 months as suggested by the doc...but i'd like to spend more $$$ on music than a shrink. but it is true that i havent felt 100%....nor 75%....lately...lol. i dont even know why im laughing about it. how ironic.

i got my pre-ordered HP at macquarie Borders. the line was SOOOOO long and nobody told anyone that there was a collection station at the back. Mum only found it when i told her to get me a "we

well my weekend was pretty boring overall. I bought the Evanescence sheet music book -- "the open door" for my music class. so my money was....well...greatly decreased. lol.

i was supposed to complain about something about people being so competitive but kinda cant be bothered. i know my blog is pretty boring so *shrugs*.

well i have started tafe again. its the second day...in fact i *am* at tafe.

its great! i met new people...feeling a bit out of place i guess. everyone else is so talented in what they do...pretty much everyone writes their own music...sigh. im such a bloody ametur...i dont even think i spelt that right *ggggreat*

sigh just feel so bad...just kinda feel like i'm put in this class cos im asian (well there are 3 other asian) but i feel like i've been put here so it seems more "equal opportunity" you know...

they're watching family guy on tv...lame. i never can get in it...it just stupid, not funny.

going to the doctor again tomolo to check up on my "depression assessment"....and tomolo is Mary's 18th! Happy Birthday Mary...and im turning 19 this year...-.-"

still playing kingdom hearts, its great!...im at...shit i forgot...i think i just finished up at the pirates of the carribean place...and stopped by twilight town...i love it. but bloody hell KH3 is on PS3...i dont have $1000 to spare!

they're watching family guy on tv...lame. i never can get in it...it just stupid, not funny.

going to the doctor again tomolo to check up on my "depression assessment"....and tomolo is Mary's 18th! Happy Birthday Mary...and im turning 19 this year...-.-"

oh and this guy Matt at tafe said he read my blog...how embarrassing! lol. oh well.

they're watching family guy on tv...lame. i never can get in it...it just stupid, not funny.

going to the doctor again tomolo to check up on my "depression assessment"....and tomolo is Mary's 18th! Happy Birthday Mary...and im turning 19 this year...-.-"

btw this guy from tafe said he read my blog haha. how embarrassing was that...lol.

PS. my display is really weird isnt it? sigh. i thought i looked okay in it...*shrugs* well its hard finding a person to take ptoper photos for you and harder to take photo of myself with a no-brand digi cam okay?

well i have started tafe again. its the second day...in fact i *am* at tafe.

its great! i met new people...feeling a bit out of place i guess. everyone else is so talented in what they do...pretty much everyone writes their own music...sigh. im such a bloody ametur...i dont even think i spelt that right *ggggreat*

sigh just feel so bad...just kinda feel like i'm put in this class cos im asian (well there are 3 other asian) but i feel like i've been put here so it seems more "equal opportunity" you know...

they're watching family guy on tv...lame. i never can get in it...it just stupid, not funny.

going to the doctor again tomolo to check up on my "depression assessment"....and tomolo is Mary's 18th! Happy Birthday Mary...and im turning 19 this year...-.-"

still playing kingdom hearts, its great!...im at...shit i forgot...i think i just finished up at the pirates of the carribean place...and stopped by twilight town...i love it. but bloody hell KH3 is on PS3...i dont have $1000 to spare!

they're watching family guy on tv...lame. i never can get in it...it just stupid, not funny.

going to the doctor again tomolo to check up on my "depression assessment"....and tomolo is Mary's 18th! Happy Birthday Mary...and im turning 19 this year...-.-"

oh and this guy Matt at tafe said he read my blog...how embarrassing! lol. oh well.

they're watching family guy on tv...lame. i never can get in it...it just stupid, not funny.

going to the doctor again tomolo to check up on my "depression assessment"....and tomolo is Mary's 18th! Happy Birthday Mary...and im turning 19 this year...-.-"

btw this guy from tafe said he read my blog haha. how embarrassing was that...lol.

PS. my display is really weird isnt it? sigh. i thought i looked okay in it...*shrugs* well its hard finding a person to take ptoper photos for you and harder to take photo of myself with a no-brand digi cam okay?

yay only one more week till tafe starts again. cant wait to see my friends and meet some new ones! hopefully someone would think im good enough for a band or something *fingers crossed*

apparently i haven't been talking much...i've been really quite lately, and i get so annoyed if someone talks waaaaay too much, or being loud. and i've been randomly crying here and there...and plus my short term memory gone so bad lately (its odd cos it used to be really good....and now i hardly remember what i did yesterday and in the morning), so i decided to see a doctor...probably on monday. might as well ask about that three doses of vaccine...i dont think im emotionally ready for 3...one is okay...3...i need sometime for myself to "prepare"...

now now, did i mention i got singstar...i love it! well, i guess thats why im a vocalist, but thats beside the point. haha. its good that they have Evanescence, MCR, and Fall Out Boy....its been a long time since i heard 'dance dance'...i only remember the chrous....not a great fan, me, i know...i should know that...

apparently i can be a bitch and cute at the same time. i didnt think anyone could be....but i am that person...odd eh? guess im special at least.

anyways, sometimes i dont wanna bother treating my so-called depression, cos it allows me to write *what i think are* good poems, but thats a not-so-good reason to not get it checked out yea?

lalalaa...theres so much on my mind at the moment that just aren't coming out...

Holiday is damn boring sometimes...i spent my time playing on my PS2...and yay I got singstar! but its more fun singing with other people...so i just play Super Monkey Ball...I'll just roll my ball around...haha.

well I'm awaiting TAFE to start! So excitied~! Can't wait to do more performing.

saw angela and choi yesterday....finally given choi her xmas pressie from '06...haha. *blush* anyways...we just bummed around really. randomly went into Allan's music and played 'lithium' at the exact same time on the two baby grand piano...well, thats about the only time i can play a piano worth about 10 grand!

In the arvo i met up with ash...and the other angela...haha ash didnt know broadway shopping centre existed hahahahaha. - better not released his story all over the world - but i can tell you its damn funny.

so i ended up seeing the transformers in the cinema...*snore*...i liked the bit where they hid under the dude's house...and bumblebee was cute.*sigh* oh well saw bridie afterwards.

so what's happened lately...*thinks*...ah i finally remember what i was gonna write/type:

Okay, so why do people love labelling others? Do some people like being labelled? I know its just human nature that people like to belong to something. Some people like being called emo and goth because they think its cool. but some people don't actually go out of their way to be them.

I just like wearing black. i love the colour black. i dont wanna wear bright colours, then people name me emo. then i wear my skirt with boots then some other person name me a goth. then i wear fishnet stockings and then i got called a punk.  name me what you want but look. i just wanna wear black, that is all - i just wanna get out without being called things.

and why do people sometimes be so judgemental? you know even know them and they think you must act a certain way.  even if i hug too many people, someone would think i like feeling up people or something. like omg, i like hugs okay? whats wrong with hugs? hugs are nice. i <3 hugs. and just because an old person hug a younger one doesnt mean they're a paedophile. i hug my neighbours and guys that are older then me. why do some people have a frame of mind that is the case?

one problem that i have particularly is why do some people have this want to be something but they're just not. kinda like being way too pretentious, or just basically being something that they're not. - why cant you just be yourself???? those people really go out of their way to look like someone or be certain type of person. maybe those people are not confident and insecure? i have this girl that just follows most things i do and let me tell you i'm actually quite annoyed, but she has no idea that she's doing that. I'm glad that i am "looked up to" like that and i guess i shouls get used to it just in case i became a rockstar haha. *sighs* i just wish she finds herself and not having to having to find identity through others.

okay. its all outta my system now. im better now.

besides what i have a problem with...i have a problem....i dont think my emotional states is so good. i just get really upset in the evening + nights. *sigh* i dont wanna be put in a psych ward...nor a depression group....i've been sent to one...but i didnt bother. oh well. should check it out. btw the cervial cancer vaccine comes in THREE doses...girls gotta do it before sometime before 2009 i think i read...three doses *faint* i dont like needles...good luck to all CC'06 and other female aged 18 to 26...

Now my blog is avaliable on Myspace as well as Windows live space...so its easier for me to catch up with TAFE friends on Myspace...and my high schools through the other....so yay.

I got the offer for Cerificate IV of Music at TAFE. yes yes, it's good. more music for the rest of the year.

From what the teacher said, 52 people audition, and there's only going to be a 16ppl class...and I am one of those 16 ppl...how "exclusive".

Although I got through, a lot of my friends from TAFE didnt get in though. and I feel a bit uneasy by getting in because I feel that all the other people who didnt get in are way more talented...I really don't understand why they didnt get in, especially most of them write and perform their own original materials well i never...I don't wanna feel any better because I dont feel like I'm anymore talented then they are, and how come I got into Cert IV, its still a puzzle to me, but I am glad that I got through along with Chantelle (the drummer), Dean (the guitarist) and Adam (just the crazy person who can act like a retard quite well...haha he's funny). I'm happy that I got the opportunity and continue with another 6 months of music.

I got money...finally (got paid) and bought myself some clothes! pants + one piece dress.

ANyway, Andrew started a new job...and I feel damn lonely at home do NOTHING. doing nothing is hard....um...yes, well i write poems but thats like nothing...oh well...

okay. so. um. a week had passed. this week was a bit odd. i felt unhappy most of the time and than i just kind eat...i just get hungry. yesterday i had roast dinner at andrew's then i had bowl of wedges, then cheesecake, then bowl of chips...and was still hungry...

i started worrying about my career+future. honestly i'd be happy working as a manager in a cd/music shop forever, and i know i'd be happy just doing that. i've tried Jb hifi, sanity and hmv...but i guess my availabilities needs to be increased...but kinda hard when your studying...especially those jobs want you 24/7

i wanna join a band, but how many bands have asian girl as a frontwoman...like none. *sighs* i just wanna sing. that frustrates me sometimes...

i'm doubting a bit about my vocal abilities. i strongly believe that able to sing is totally different than singing good. i won't post names, but people who claim that "can sing" which means they aint tone-deaf, dont actually sing good, if u cant hit the note, then you cant hit the note & if u cant express your feeling in the song, then thats no good either. you don't just "sing". and you can say im stuck up -- and mind you, this is my blog. fuck off if you disagree, but im so sick of those people who thinks "im so good i can sing this song" but in fact they dont know that they cant, are the sadness people on earth. and the people who hog the mic to show off their "good voice" like...kill me. like the original song that harry and jayanna did about a girl who thinks she can sing...the chrous line: "she always sings off key and she never understands the word harmony" hahaha. thats an awesome song (private story/joke at tafe)

in a world where you can just be pretty to a singer. namely paris hilton even though i think she's fugly...i dont have pretty face to begin with its just...meh. great.

i guess im hard to satisfy but complements from friends and people you know...are way bias i think. its like well they're you friends they kinda have to say i'm good. so yeah. do anyone else think like that?

guess i'll just cross my fingers for cert IV.

before you start, if you have time, watch the thing on youtube...you can click on it and somehow make it bigger...if not, search "japanese, matrix" on youtube. they are fucken awesome i tell ya! so yeah...

while most of you still have about 3 years to go (on average...i know some ppl are damn smart and doing double degree), my course finished today. half a year just gone by so quickly.

i auditioned for Cert IV just yesterday, i played on the piano + sing, guitar + sing, and just sang for the third song as my audition pieces, cos u had to have 3. i clapped the rhythm written on the board, and the teacher/judge said i did pretty good.

well actually, i should really talk about my concert eh? andrew, cming and warwick came along. cant believe cming actually came! i really jus told her like 2 days ago, and she came rushing in! i really appreicate that! (yes go to your room and reflect on how you didnt support me, you other slackos! j/k) anyways, i sang the song "breathe no more" by evanescence (like what else? lol) and did back up vocal on Adam and Dean's orginial songs. and the hit the cowbell for master blaster (stevie wonder song that is), it was really good and fun, wasnt really nervous. but i reckon its a whole different story when i watched it back the next wk, since our teacher taped the WHOLE thing. lol. and i think i looked fugly and didnt sing that good...sigh. damn curfew so i couldnt stay long enough afters so i'd be drunk...well i drank without eating food before...i totally forgot >.< i was *that* busy...when to tafe and 9 and finally had food and about 9.30pm besides lunch. i was the "stage manager" for the night...being a manager is really not easy, then i had to worry about my own performance too...so yeah.

and yesterday we had a mini acoustic "concert" to accompany the "conference" which was held in the "sunken garden" at tafe, its just a little garden, and we played some pieces from the concert without the drums and all the electric shit and honestly, most of us had no idea why we were there. its like play 3 songs...someone talked about "event management" that basically only talked about his life and his band....for like 3 mins. and we played more songs and that was it...local high schools came for this shit. lol. what a waste of time. but we did get FREE FOOD...yeah after we had lunch, again, no point, i only took a water...all the singing...cos my audition was pretty much staight after...*sighs* less work for us i guess. oh and we got free chocolate and a "thank you" pressie and our teacher got a bottle of wine...and we kept trying to steal it. and the most funny thing is that me and chantelle kept on chunking 10 or 20cents coins at our fellow performers...it was pretty funny...you kinda had to be there.

aaaaaah~ my holiday begins now....

the only thing good about the slowing approaching winter is the fallen leaves on the ground which i step on and they make a "crunch" noise or if there was a big pile i'd kick them around...but other than that....it's just freaken cold going to tafe trying to catch the 8.10am train in the cold...*sniff sniff*. good thing andrew got me a new scarf....a non-cghs one...like red+black striped (duh~ lol)

andrew's place has a fireplace its so awesome...warm warm and its a bit smokey though...

tafe concert is on wednesday!!! *a bit nervous* im a bit more scared about the audition for Cert IV *sigh* only 16 places for the 40 Cert III people...not to mention people might come from random places to audition for it too....*fingers crossed*

it was me and andrew's 8 months yesterday...so we got ourselves a daytripper and went to newtown >>bus>> central >> ferry>> milsons pt (luna park)>>ferry>>circular quay>>bus>>town hall>>bus>>central>>train >>Home...we are crazy...lol

well i got bored and went ebay-surfing...lol...here's what i'd buy if i had the money...

          ]

finally have the time to update something in here for no one to read in particular, never been a popular one, me. i'm starting to wonder why people's blog about uni exams can be more exciting than mine...hahaha.

well lately i've just been preparing myself for the concert. (yes once again seems like no one is gonna fucken come except Andrew and Warwick...*sigh* stupid asian curfews) and now we have rehersals until about 6 - 6.30pm on Mondays. yes so i basically have 9am ~ 6.30pm day. BEAT THAT. but then im not sitting on my ass and listening to bald and boring lectureres =P. (btw i walk pass the UTS faculty of science on most days and i can just see the back row on the lecture room and people look so BORED and they were kinda lounging around hahaha, thank goodness i dont go to uni)

on tuesday we got most of our tests back (we were like FUCK WE DOOOOON'T WANT THEM....lol) and well i did good in the music industry and music listening (omg i passed that!). and lately in the lesson i got full marks for lstening skills excercise on intervals - you know, minor 2nd, major 3rd, minor 3rd, perfect 4th/5th...etc...15 outta 15, WOOOT~! and i found out that me and Ash got top marks for music business presentation! (Ash is a guy and my buddy at tafe so to speak, we're crazy...lol)

in the arvo lesson i was put on the spot and set a sound system ALL MY MYSELF...argh. so annoying. but then i did get decent mark in setting up sound system + multitrack recoding.

wednesday i got bad cramps and went home early. mum made me drink chinese medicine and said it'll help in 3 months time...its the 4th month and im STILL getting bad cramps...oooooh the humanity~ save me from drinking more yucky chinese meds.

my tafe course is gonna end in about 3 to 4 weeks and i have no idea what i wanna do now. I will apply for Cert IV and see what happens...but money wise its a bit hard $400...where do i find that...i wanna learn sign language too, i've always been interested at that. and i still cant find a stable job as much (uni job is very casual, they do it project by project and they dont have many of those) but i wont quit that job. *sighs*

the thing i dislike the most is when people ask me what i will be doing after the course and usually with a tone suggesting that i wont be able to do a thing after the course...espcially if i dont wanna go to uni...maybe i'll be a music theraptist and maybe i'll hit it big and be a real rock star i dunno. maybe work in a recoding studio? i have no idea what this course brings for me. i have a crazy idea that i'll do music business course after that, and after a year of that i'll do music techinical. man i am crazy. its just that im sick of people around seem to not suppose the idea i do this course cos it seems to bring me nowhere.

my teacher says, you cant choose music, music chooses you. you know because you feel terrible when you're doing something else, music makes you feel good and as anyone else, you would only like doing something you find pleasure and joy in. and thats what i feel like because the only thing i want to do is to sing. i dont know how well i sing and whether im good enough, but i know getting through the tafe audition meant something and i wouldnt trade that with anyone. i just dont wanna to be doing anything else but something to do with music.

i missed so many great opportunities thanks to my mum. i missed out on a potential position in Sanity, and i missed out to be able to work at the BIG Day Out...its the BDO for fuck's sake. i would have got paid to listen to the bands i like and free merch i would hope, all because i thought i would be in HK in january. so fine but then i cant work at the Easter Show cos i ACTUALLY would be in HK. now NOTHING is fucken on during the next holiday....*sigh* thanks for nothing. world.

i dont care about whether i make it as a musician, i'd be happy selling CDs everyday...thats all i hope for...why the fuck is it so hard....

i kinda feel like i'm so half-arsed as a person. i'm a half-arsed vocalise, half-arsed guitarist, half-arsed piano player (yes Andrew and I bought a electric piano for me, and yes i can play stuff.), half-arsed poet/lyricist, half-arsed composer, half-arsed "artiist"... like I'm not too good enough for much.

People ask me what I can and would do after this music course. I kinda have no idea, cos i dont intend this to by my pathway to uni.

Somehow i always need approval from other people...maybe im love deprived. *sigh* I draw something and I'd want someone to say "its nice"...maybe thats what you get for the lack of support at home?

I constantly need to be with someone, namrly thats usually Andrew, so i'd feel less of a uselss person cos he adores me every mintue that he's with me and i know that. my mind would not drift off to think of unpleasant things...BLAH

oh yeah, and I'm back in Aus...yes yes all in one piece...havent flown in a plane in 7 years...can help to have appreshenive feeling at the beginnig (and end)  of a JOURNEY!!!! haha...damn HSC shit.

so yes, my tafe concert is as above, you better fucken come. but um. why us asian has such damn curfews...i dont think i can even make *my* curfew to go home on time if my curfew is 10.30pm and the concert ends around 10 in the city....dot dot dot. oh well. i have an excuse.

*sighs* i dont even know what i wanna talk about. um, lets talk about Jing? she's a bit girlie than i know her...but i guess puberty finally hit her?! just kidding jing. haha.

man my blog is so boring and damn whiny. 

this week i've been pretty busy taking andrew around. legs gets sore... sometimes i just feel that i'm gonna fall into millions of pieces...lol

Tuesday: went around the places i used to live...went on the trams and then went to the Peak via Peak tram...quite steep. and the view got HEAPS foggy like you cant see a thing after Andrew took photos of it. and ate Macca there...we had "Grilled Chicken burger" and "Crispy chicken burger"...well gotta have something different. then rode on the ferry to the other side of the harbour and watched the lightshow at 8pm and pretty much went home from there.

Wednesday: Went around different musesms cause they're all free admission on wednesdays for some reason...i'm not complaining...save us some money. Went to the art museum, they had a "Chinglish" Chinese + english exhibition...quite interesting about how HK ppl lived and leanrt english by translating everyday life thing into chinese that sound like them and things like that; then went to the space museum..the one that shapes like a big dome...; after that we went to Museum of HK history, i think i liked that one best, great way of displaying how HK started. and last we went to the science museum, its like questacon really. but heaps more fun, we did the fitness changelle there, basically tests ur skills. and after that we went to Mong Kok's Ladie's Market...well you gotta go there to buy cheap stuff and haggle!!!

Thursday: OCEAN PARK!!! woot! first ride we went on was a water one...got wet haha. guess what guys, i went on my first loop-de-doop rollercoaster...can cross of one of the things on my list...but i didnt feel too well after it...haha. i did have a headache i got the damn cold. anyways...went go karting there too. another thing to cross off. and i could have crossed off a third but the hot air balloon wasnt operating due to strong wind...oh well~ it was funny when we went for the pirate ship these high schoolers (all guys) picked up a friend that didnt wanna go on the ride and when he in the ride we somehow found an escape route and ran off to the exit...haha...well it was more of a  "you have to be there" thing.

Friday: went to Stanley...basically didnt do much tourist wise cause i got booked up with having meals with relatives...lol. i had dinner with my "uncle godfather" and he named his daughter's english name after me...i feel so honhoured...im 18 and already have someone named after me for real...haha. His kids were so cute. hehe, very shy but likes asking me for lollies. hehe.

Saturday: today...will pack things and maybe go to the plaza in the airport and play i-sport (yes they have a random place like a mini theme park...no ferris wheel duh~), just some interactive games. and well. yeah thats it really. ='(

i've fallen sick. how stupid is that? oh well. i vomited a few times in the early morning of saturday...went out on sunday but didnt eat much and slept it off at my cousins (cos family was having dinner there) and later on i was having runny nose and sore thorat. *sighs*

played Wii at my cousins...my arm was so sore the next day...played tennis, baseball, bowling, golf. random things haha. kinda bored after a while, but then i wasnt feeling too well...and didnt get home till midnight-ish....

went to Discovery Bay to visit some of mum's friends, thats where i lived as a baby. finally met their new dog, Yogurt. when asked about how did they get the name for their golden retriver, i was told that they were eating breakfast together and was thinking so what name should they name it...turns out they both liked yogurt so yeah...haha. ate dinner along the waterfront and could see the fireworks at disneyland from a distance.

Yogurt was rather excitied about something,  always running off.. haha. It's not very naughty though,

saw the disneyland train as i was going to discovery bay....kinda cute with mickey mouse windows. but i wont be going there...expensive and i think i'd be disappointed....i'd rather save money for disney WORLD at florida.

guess i wont be free to update my blog this week...have to take andrew around. he still has about 2 or 3 hours the plane.

speaking of plane i wonder how on earth someone stands a flight from australia to the US or Europe...i was so bored and just wanted it to hurry up in a 9 hours flight...i couldnt sit still for 9 hours, let alone a longer flight...

I'm talking about HK markets...like the markets where you buy your lunch or dinner things to cook...not like the flea markets.

Everytime my aunt suggest that i go back home first and she'd buy the stuff, i'd say i'd come with...well its the polite thing to do...you dont just leave your aunt to buy things on her own, especially not when you live at her place without rent yeah?

but the thing is...having 7 years without going to a market for so long...well i remembered how things work in a HK food market but...having to face it again was slightly...traumatic...i dont think visiting HK markets are for the light-hearted...

Fish store: all sliced up...bloody, with organs still attached. they sell frogs too, my aunt bought some of those cos my grandma was coming over, and she liked eating frogs...i do too, but after seeing the man slicing it up (they kill them on the spot)...NO THANKS...i ate around it...lol...i did eat the beans around it. I couldn't do it...i can barely look at it...im not putting them in my mouth.

Chicken shop: they kill whatever bird you choose on the spot...i was like oh my god...and all the birds are soooo cramped up in their cages. and i spotted REAL pigeons in the cages (like the ones that run around everywhere in aus)..i was like...*dies*.

Red Meat shops: chinese people eat anything...even animal's organs...and (i think) the pigs' organs are hung like...just "there". kidneys, lungs...*spews*

I always come back with a headache and lack of want to eat...how can you wanna eat when you just saw everything you're gonna eat was killed in front of you?

I'm so glad that i live in aus and i dont have to put up with all the bloody things...i'd probably eat less than i already do if i see that everyday....

*sighs* i feel sick thinking about it all...

about myself

Sign-  Libra
Height- 158cm
Weight- 40kg
Figure- slim
Hair- long and black
Eyes- dark dark dark brown
Contacts/ glasses?- none
Braces?- none
School- Ultimo Tafe
Personality- Strange
Do you consider yourself smart?- not really.
Strong (physically and other)?- emotionally. i pick up on body language too.
Wise?- not really
Perceptive and intuitive?- i'd like to think so.
Quick/ bright?- maybe.

Teenager/School stuff

Is music a major part of your life?- yes, why else would i do a music course?
Do you download MP3s, or buy the actual CD?- both.
What are your favorite genres of music?- rock.
Least favorite?- rap.
Is rap music?- i tend to think not.
What song describes your life?- Nobody's Home - Avril Lavigne, thats why i like the song so much.
What extracirricular activities do you participate in?- choir.
Do you consider yourself outgoing or popular?- haha, i *wish* i was popular...not. im outgoing i think.
Do you read comics?- yes
Which ones?- NANA

Favorites

Hobbies- singing, music stuff
Subjects- MUSIC. duh~
Things to do- singing.
Think about- music (this is getting interesting isnt it?)
Color- black + red
Number- 6, 12
Place- anywhere but home
Season- autumn
Vacation spot- andrew's place. haha
Place to live- not mine.

Animated Disney movies

Favorite- sleeping beauty
Least favorite- um...*shrugs*
What did you think of Bambi- weird
Pinochio- cute. especially in Shrek, wearing boxers with hearts on it.
Snow White- classic
Sleeping Beauty- best!
Cinderella- a little predictable now.
The Little Mermaid- not that interesting to me
Beauty and the Beast- like a disney romeo and juilet i reckon.
Peter Pan- um, not that good
Tarzan- >.< great soundtrack but no.
Mulan- ...heard it a million times in chinese version.
The Jungle Book- not good.
The Emperor's New Groove- gay.
Atlantis- didnt watch that.
All of the "II" movies they're releasing- really silly.

Right now
Weather- cloudy
Music you're listening to- none.
Mood- bored.
Who do you miss?- Andrew, and everyone in Australia.
Wish- days could go quicker.
Thinking about- how bored i am
Stressed about- stuff
Worried about- future
Upset about- nothing...but im upset anyways
Happy about- im not sure...
praying about- i dont pray

Last
Vivid dream- um, dont remember?
Time you showered- this morning.
Person you visited- simon
Time you cried- few days ago.
Movie you watched- Happy Feet
TV show you watched- some random HK show.
Friend you called- Jamie, but she wasn't home.
Person you IM-ed- Alex.
Thing you ate- dinner...hard to explain chinese food.
Chore you did- um, washed my own clothes?

+ Clothes and stuff.

1. What do people tend to label you as (i.e., Chav (townie) Prep, trendy, punk, Goth, mambo, skater etc): a range of things...emo mostly, i dont understand why some people call me gothic...but whatever, sometimes i wonder why people have to label and classified people...

2. Do you choose to label yourself (if you do, what as?): i dont care..."the girl who loves black" would do me fine.

3. Describe your dress sense: BLACK and sometimes a bit of red...like DUH.

4. What are you wearing right now: black coat + black jacket (its cold here)...+ black & red tshirt + black jeans (grey really) + black bra + black panties...happy? oh and black & white socks.

5. What jewellery are you wearing: necklace with a little dogtag and guitar as depdents...took everything else off.

6. What are you most known for wearing: black clothes...like fuck you dont know that by now.

7. Do you belong to a particular clique? huh?

8. Friends wise – do you hang around with people who dress the same as you? no.

9. What particular clothes style do you hate and why: um...i dont hate a particular style...everyone's difficult and looks good with different stuff on.

10. Describe your hair: long black hair? very asian hair...haha

11. Do you take pride in your appearance? um...kinda...like as long as its neat and i dont look mis-matched.

+ The opposite sex. (Or same, depending)

12. Would you say you were straight, gay or bi? straight

13. What is your attitude to gay relationships if you're straight? i think its fine and great as long as 2 persons love each other. what is the big deal?

14. Do you know anyone who is gay or bi? yes.

15. Who? its really none of your business i reckon. its called privacy.

16. Have you ever had a sexual experience with someone of the same sex? no.

17. Are you currently in a relationship? yes.

18. If your answer is no – do you want to be? i said yes...

19. Do you have a specific type in guys (or girls)? like decent ones who dont think that they always need to get into my pants.

20. What kind of people will you NOT go out with? someone who needs sex all the time, like fuck life isnt about sex.

21. What kind of people would you LOVE to go out with? huh? im going out with someone already. celebrities are not good enough for my liking.

22. Do you have crushes (if so, who are they :::describe:::): wouldnt you like to know.

23. What song makes you feel most romantic? um...none? its not a song that makes you romantic, its what you do...

24. What's your age limit (you won't go out with people older than…)?  older than me...about 3 years. younger...a few months tops, i dont like being the older one.

25. Would you go out with people younger than you? guess not as willingly.

26. Are you in love? yes.

27. Have you ever been in love with someone who wasn't available to you? you aint in love unless its a two way thing i think.

+ Music

28. What song are you listening to now?  Evanescence ones...some new ones i downloaded off iTunes too.

29. Name 6 of your favourite bands and singers: evanescence, the wreckers, linkin park (new album coming out FUCK YEAH~), panic at the disco, nickelback...the fray

30. How often do you listen to music: everyday...unless im sick or have a headache.

31. How would you describe your music taste: pop + rock...random stuff really.

32. Is the music you like a strong representation of you and your personality? i think it represents what im thinking more than me as a person.

33. Can you sing, or are you in a band? haha, both ish...i can sing and our class is a big band...lol.

+ Favourites

34.  Favourite Films (list a minimum of 3): i dont know...lol.

35. Favourite T.V shows (list 3): simpsons, the chasers, heros.

36. Favourite Drinks (list 3): nudie, smoothies...chai latte.

37. Favourite Ethnic Food (Don't just put down "Chinese".. what specifically..): um...satay chicken...thai ones.

38. Favourite Snack Items (list 3): pringles, chocolate, biscuits.

39. Favourite Books (include authors): Harry Potter...you know who wrote it. Briat Rose (Jane Yolen) - my year 12 text its quite good i reckon.

40. Favourite Drawing Medium (ie. Pencil, Pastels, Conte, Charcoal): pen. i think its more a chanllenge to get things right, a drawing with whiteout shows your weakness.

41. Favourite Cereals (list 2):  Frostie (why dont they sell it anymore in syd?), and weet bix.

==== i deleted the family questions cos i dont like answering them ====

+ Random questions

55. Do you have a mobile phone?  yes

56. What model is it?  nokia 3100..old..i'd like a nokia 6300

57. What do you use it for? phone call and sms (duh~)

58. Who is the first person listed in your phone (book):  andrew

59. Whats the situation with the weather right now, where you are? cloudy...i think its just the polution really.

60. Do you like rain? yes. fuck yeah, need more rain in aust.

61. What time is it? 10.48pm HK time

62. What are you having for dinner? i had beef, bean sprouts, squids, corn & cream soup with green veggies with rice of course.

63. What are you going to do tomorrow? getting my HK id card.

64. What was the last movie you watched? on the plane would be stranger than fiction.

65. What are your favourite names? well, all i can tell you it that i wanna name my daughter Amber-Jane.

66. What's your favourite take out food?  um...the $4 lunch at the thai place at the food court under myer in town hall, satay chicken is good there.

67. In single words (not sentences) describe your personality: Strange (maybe like emily? lol)

68. Name a few people you can't stand: Mrs Marshall, Paris Hiltion, Dora the explorer girl.

69. When was the last time you laughed hysterically and why? in a western styled cafe in HK...i laughed cos the lady kept on getting our order wrong in a funny way.

70. When was the last time you were scared and why? when Andrew left me at the airport last week...i was scared cos i had to go alone after the departure gates.

71. How old are your grandparents? my grandma is 87 apparently...so active for someone her age.

72. What' s your nearest church called? fuck if i know.

73. The last time you ate a birthday cake? at mandy and winnie's 18th. i made them =)

74. The last book you read? um...havent read a proper book for ages.

75. The next book you're going to read? Harry Potter and the Deadly Hallows.

76. Do you have fantasies (Whether sexual or not, you tell me): of course i do. sure everyone does.

77. Who was the last person who showed you affection? Andrew...but how do you define affection anyways?

78. What's your favourite Shakespeare play?  Romeo and Juilet..cant beat that i reckon.

79. When you go into a bookshop, which section do you head for? music and stationary...its not my fault that they have music section now.

80. When was the last time you were so overly annoyed, you wanted to scream blue murder: i consently do with my mum.

81. Who was the last person you spoke to through IM: Dean E. from tafe.

82. What's the date today? 9.April.2007

83. If you died, what song would you want to be played at your funeral: "Good Enough" & "Breathe No More" from Evanescence.