Flyleaf is awesome...anyways...

I feel awful lately...(yeah and thats really surprising isnt it.) just got to think all the things im not good at. thanks to people that do not concern about others feelings or people that just think they're on top of the world, so i guess i think about it too, maybe way too much but i guess once in a while you kinda just think about your place in the world. how good or bad you are. comparing to other people, are you doing okay? for me especially musically...how "talented" am i comes into a big part of my life and being a good musican is obviously tough.

SINGING: look, as my friend you are bound to say i sing good...or if you dont like it then you'll just nod your head anyways...i dont feel like i sing any good. but i do know i love singing. i cant think of anything that makes me happier and better...(shopping comes to a close second...O.o)...no one likes my voice enough i guess...well it doesnt help that my recorded voice sounds like a 10 year old...

MUSIC PREFERENCE: whats wrong with liking mainsteam stuff? there are amazing music in there. every song i ever like is because of its lyrics. so if thats mainstream, so be it.

RACE: sometimes outer apperance doesnt help, and certainly being asian, especially chinese. doesnt help anything. people only think your incapable, that your impolite, no common manners. im the only fucken person in the whole train carriage to get up for a pregnant lady, no one would move there fucken bags and crap off their seats. and anyways. i think its after missy higgins (cant believe that her name is in my blog...ew) that the Unearthed winner is a asian girl called Sophie Koh if i remembered correctly, why happened to her? Grinspoon and Higgins have their career fly off, and she had better songs than higgins. why, because shes asian? asian's not allow to have a decent career in music?! well thanks Australia.
        Everyone thinks they're better cos they speak english, they're more superior. "oh looking that person cant speak english properly" FUCK ur in the asia-pacific, why dont you learn an asian language, your closer to an asian country than you'll ever be anywhere else. and if anything, everyone should learn a ABORIGINAL language, its their land to begin with, i'd be happy to learn one. why restrict like as if they were criminals?!

ME: [overall] well im not even gonna go into that too much. i stand up for myself and thats wrong. im therefore stubborn. well fuck u then. im sorry if i act like a 12 year old. i had a love deprived childhood okay. so if that means i'll be 30 and running through the crowd like a kid to a fairy floss vending, then that's great, that's how i would be.

SADNESS: look sorry i really cnt help that. sometimes i just feel like bawling my eyes out and thats what i did at tafe last week cos i suddenly felt so much like a failure. and if i had spare money for psyche fees i would. and the shrink isnt even there for me to book an appointment. so there.

but in the end i could just be a failure...but then...
"and i know, i may end up failing too, but i know, you were just like me with someone disappointed in you"